Whenever I smell a cigar or juicy fruit gum it reminds me of my father. Seven years ago today he lost his battle with lung cancer. My father was a very independent man, very quiet and simple but complicated. He didn’t need much and he wasn’t into fancy things. As a matter of fact when he found out he had lung cancer he moved from Paducah back to the home where he grew up in Naylor, Missouri. It was my grandma’s house and it was one of my favorite places in the world. The roads were dirt and there was farmland as far as you could see. The house was very run down because it had been unoccupied for at least 10 years when my father took residency again, but he didn’t care, that was his home and where his heart told him to go.
My dad didn’t really know what to do with a daughter. When I was younger that was fine. He played ball with me and tennis and taught me how to fish and hunt. I remember traveling with him and we would stop for a break and toss a baseball. He loved to smoke cigars. On these road trips he would smoke cigars and buy me lots of gum to try to keep me quiet about the awful smell. Juicy fruit was his gum of choice. He would chew that and so would I when he was done with a cigar. As I got older though and more into girly things, he didn’t really know how to relate. He would come to all my games and watch me cheer though. I would always look up in the stands and he would be sitting at the top. We spent a lot of time at Mr. Gatti’s pizza too. He would call me and ask if I wanted to have lunch or dinner and I always knew where we were going. I remember spending one week with my dad when he lived in Louisville, KY and I promise I ate pizza every day for lunch and dinner. I think I got sick.
My father was an FBI investigator. I was always very proud to tell people that and he always down played it. He primarily investigated people who were applying for high profile jobs or in security type positions. I still think it’s cool though! The job fit very well with his personality – just the facts and down to business. He was hard to read and didn’t express much emotion. The only time I ever saw him cry was at my grandma’s funeral. Sometimes I still wonder what he thought of me. I wonder what he thinks of me now. Is he proud of who I’ve become, what I’m doing with my life, my family? Is he watching over his grandaughters?
I miss you dad so much. I’ll buy a pack of juicy fruit today in your honor, but I’ll skip the cigars.
I love you
Beautiful post Kari. Great remembrance of your dad.
Glad you all had a great 4th!
What a great tribute to your father. Thanks for sharing.
You forgot to mention going out for “ice cream”!!! I’ll always remember how frustrated you were with that idea! He was a good man and I am sure he is very proud of the smart woman you have become.
I too think of your dad when I see or smell cigars. I think I actually became somewhat fond of the sweet smell of cigars from catching a whiff of his while on the farm. Of course, I wasn’t stuck in the close quarters of a car with the smokey smell, which probably helped. I loved the mystery of his job and chuckled at his need to always leave the party early. I remember you sadly saying all too often, “Why do we have to leave?” I wish you didn’t have to leave either! We were always having so much fun out in the dirt or in the soybean pile. (Do you know I found a soybean in my ear six weeks after a trip up there? We had buried each other up to our eyeballs in soybeans that filled the back of the big truck in the barn. Eewww. ) Anyway, I like to think he couldn’t stay in one place too long because he had important, secret agent type things to do.
We all miss him.